Here I Am

The journey seems so far
And our distance is yet so close
I don't want to lose faith over this matter
Because I know it's not worth it
Insensitive bastard
Fake lover
The list goes on and on
And I realise how terrible I am
for making you embarrassed
by people asking lots of questions
about who's that girl in the photo
things that they only assumed and provoked
turned out to be a stone of the crevices
slowly creeping on the crystal of our gleaming hearts
Truth being told
I only took the picture because
Other pictures taken with Lumia
Idk why
but all ended up badly
as what I sent you recently
I just want to depict the artist in the middle
Not even her at all
Because I thought people would be more interested in him
rather than the girl
But my bet, I didn't oversee that
people would be care enough to look at the girl
and even worse, asked you cynically
I really really didn't expect that to happen
But I swear with my God's name
I have nothing to do with her at all
If those people are tend to provoke
Tell them
Backbiting is like eating your brother's meat
and tell them don't judge people only by assuming
and for you
I'm so sorry
I'll be more sensitive about this
Thank you for being honest with me
and show me my flaws
which hole should be filled in
for being insensitive
not bother to delete everything
and start a whole new life
with a formatted blog
I had an intention to do so but
because I thought you said if I don't wanna talk about my past
means that I'm still living in it
So I just let them be, the past to be there
Trying to be brave that I don't live there anymore
But still, sorry for misinterpreting your sentence
And now you shall see less than 10 posts here
Truth being told
I left my past far away before I even approach you
Because I know
I won't fool around anymore screwing your heart
the moment I chose to settle down
for always using the word 'love' as a saviour
Of everything I did wrong
Insensitive, unconcern and bullshit-er
and all those shits I put you through
Truth being told
Fake love that you thought I bring with
in my hands just to toil you around
Is actually the one that keeps me going
Accompanying you the moment you don't want any
Buying you things you don't expect to be
Giving you surprises you hate to see
All these things that made me
Fond of, closer and fall deeper for you
Person to talk to
Meals you want to
Gifts you love to
I wanna be everything
everything that you appreciate and love
I just want you
I just want us
My dreams keep crumpling on and on
But I pray hard not this one
Not this dream
Not our dream